(no subject)

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It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a small-town sheriff in possession of a good dose of survivor’s guilt must be in want of something to do. Those about town may find, therefore, typed – yes, typed, the minute irregularities in the typeface indicate on a typewriter, one dredged up from the modest archives at the sheriff’s station and given a thorough dusting – on official letterhead, the following pinned to the communal notice board:

PUBLIC NOTICE

The Saint Roch Municipal Office of the Sheriff will be conducting a volunteer drive beginning at 12:00 on Saturday, July 20th on the grounds of the Municipal Building located on Main Street in the Town of Saint Roch, Maine.

The presence of all residents able to attend is requested. A census will be taken and there will be an opportunity to discuss how to proceed as a community in light of recent events. The Office of the Sheriff will, as the only remaining municipal entity still intact, also be presenting a list of essential tasks and functions necessary to our continued survival as a community and volunteers will be sought to carry out said tasks and functions. Residents will be permitted to suggest additional tasks in case of oversight. Please be respectful.

Refreshments will be provided.

By Authority: Saint Roch Municipal Office of the Sheriff
Beaufort P. Bornpang, Sheriff

On the day of the event, as promised, a sad collection of tables lined with an equally sad, though under the circumstances surprisingly extensive and varied spread of finger-foods and lukewarm drinks stand unevenly on the grass out in front of the Municipal Building. On the steps, overlooking his handiwork with mournful solemnity, the man himself – Sheriff Beaufort Bornpang. It’s difficult at first glance to tell if that really is a knowing, world-weary cast to his expression or if that’s just how his resting face falls – though it’d be difficult to be a man with as much on his shoulders as Sheriff Bornpang without succumbing to some kind of weariness.

At the head of the tables, there rests a sizeable dry-erase board pilfered from the depths of the Municipal Building. Upon it, a preliminary list of tasks is written in sickly green marker:

cleanup and disposal crew
water management
food stockpiling
clothing stockpiling
firewood stockpiling
fuel collection and storage
weapons and ammunition round-up
waste disposal and management